People who have lost someone close to them understand a thing or two about love. People are no longer disposable. For they, each in their own accord, can never be replaced. You began to see each person as they are. The good and the bad. The glorious and the ugly. And we understand that we would be damn sad should they ever be gone. Death makes a permanent mark on those missing them.
It seems unfair the way we still think of them nearly everyday. Recounting memories spent. Some days praying to remember, other days praying to forget. So thankful for once having them in our lives. While wishing to hell you could just have them back. Wondering how they could have just vanished into some unseen world. And that there could be just one more moment spent.
These are my thoughts as my mind wanders. Traveling to those who have gone before me. Pondering the five beautiful souls that I seem to miss continually. The ones that not only left a mark when they left, but even more so while present in my life. Each one bringing immeasurable substance. Each one teaching me beautiful things that I so desperately needed.
I hold on to the belief that in life we are blessed with only a few souls that will have the ability to shape our lives. These are the ones who have come into your life for a purpose. Maybe only just for a short time. But you will carry them with you for the rest of your life.
Their kindness and generosity can only be realized later as your life fully materialized. Like a beautiful tapestry of memories, thoughts, and conversations. Maybe even sometimes deeds. Something so generous that only holds value to the receiver. And they hand it to you smiling, knowing you’ll need it later.
And its much later in life that it all comes together for you. You’ll start to see the purpose of their place in your life. There they are. Placed in a time when you needed them most. But understand and reap the benefit from it later. And it’s uncanny how their words, although said years ago, hold even more meaning and purpose now.
And that, I think, is what we need to stay focused on. What we gained from their lives, instead of what we feel we’ve lost. I still have break down moments. Times of sadness. Times when I feel like I still need them here. But I realized, they are still with me if I can put into practice the valuable lessons gifted to me while I was blessed to have them in my life.
And so, I know that if I am grateful, kind and compassionate my brother is still with me. If I choose strength and courage, my dear friend Cheryl travels with me. If I am bold and unwavering in my life choices, I know that my amazing friend and mentor Diane is cheering me on from above. If I try my best to be a good mom and provide my kids with loving memories, then I know, I make my Grandmother proud. And if I can be the strong caring support system that my sister needs, then I know I have served my niece Katie well.
If you too have lost someone who you desperately miss, remember all of the characteristics that made them so wonderful and special to you. One by one, incorporate all that holds meaning into your life. This is the best way hold those you loved so dearly close.
And just know that where ever you go, whatever challenges you may face, the pieces of the ones you loved go along with you. Move forward with the goal of continuing and sharing the meaning and impact that their lives brought you.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we all have a timeline. We think we know what is fair. What’s best. But, we are all traveling to the same place. Some will beat us there. Others will lag behind. So, if you are one of those lucky ones still around breathing, moving, living…you have work to do!