My life changed the day I changed my way of thinking. Something within me shifted as I really started to take notice of the words and thoughts that coursed through my brain daily. To say that they were mean and abrasive would be an understatement. And they were all directed at myself.
And we all do this. Harping and criticizing ourselves. With running dialogs detailing everything we feel the need to change. From our bodies to our hair. We analyze the things we say and do. With internal conversations. Mine went something like this. That was dumb why did you say that? Or who in the hell do you think you are writing like that? You look awful. Look at those wrinkles! Yada yada yada. And the list goes on and on.
We are our own worst critics. We continually hold onto spite and self doubt. And you know what? It becomes us. We start believing the continual fictional crap that streams in our minds like a out of control freight train. And then willingly enter the tunnels darkened and riddled with self doubt, pain, and loathing. We whip right past any flashing caution signs. And do nothing to stop it.
We would kick anyone in the face that spoke to us in the way we so often do. But somehow, we come into acceptance. That if it’s coming from within ourselves, it’s the gospel truth. As if paying for some penance for a crime we never made. When did we stop being friends with ourselves? Where did we learn to analyze and criticize ourselves and others so severely?
Look, I get it. We live in a crazy world. The standards are high. But the standards we set for ourselves are severe. When is enough, enough? When do you take yourself back? When do you settle into self acceptance and ditch the self loathing?
The answer is today, or tonight or whenever your reading this. You can start right now with kind thoughts directed towards that mean inner critic. You can forgive yourself for past mistakes and move forward. Because when you are kind and loving to yourself, it spills over to others.
You will love more deeply. You will forgive easier. And you will develop a deeper understanding of what those around you may be going through. All because you had to learn to grant yourself that same grace. And when you become at peace with yourself, you will be at peace with others.
These thoughts will hinder you from doing many great things in your life. Fear will scream that you can’t do it. Self doubt will convince you that your not good enough. Not enough of this, too much of that. When reality is, your equipped with everything you need to accomplish anything you dream of.
I’m not going to say it will be easy. But I do know it will be worth it. Those thoughts are going to keep popping up. But your job is to redirect and change them into something positive for yourself. Stay self aware about what’s going on inside you. Be kind and pay it forward!