Every Sunday afternoon, or at least every other, my three best friends come over for coffee. We take this day to reconnect. And I won’t lie some of them turn into beer or margaritas Sundays. Some of them have turned into intense Sundays with rage that only friends with years behind their belts will see. But through it all we remain besties. These are my people. The ones that have been there through thick and thin. The ones that know me inside out. The ones who have definitely seen me at my worst but still love me for my best. If I could give these friendships numbers they would be 19, 18, and lifetime (with no surprise of this being my sister and best friend).
Todays topic starts with my sisters love life. Middle topic politics. Ending with a deep question I always have to bring up. What are you afraid of not doing before you die? I’m always bringing up the deep topics because in my opinion, that is where life dewells. They all know its coming. And by the way, I’m not even sure they enjoy them. But in any case it always brings interest to the table.
The responses were all deep, relevant, and gave great glimpses into the soul. And what I found, of course, varied from person to person. I heard of wanting to be a good mother, wife and friend. And I whole heartedly agreed. Every women has that deep desire to be all of those things. But I also heard a deeper desire to be loved and missed. But not just missed. But to know that each one we left behind knew and felt the deep love that we have for them. We all want to be remembered and missed to those we most desperately desire to love at the peak that we could provide. And we spoke of burying hatchets and mending drifts of separation that can happen over time. And of being a women of strong stature to never let quarrels separate the love of family. And I just have to say that this perticular friend is all of these things and more not only to me but all for whom she loves.
I heard of the desire to be grateful and to give back. Something, if we are all honest, from time to time lack. The day to day living can sometimes take away from all we should be so completely grateful for. Sometimes we focus so much on what is wrong that we miss all that is right. All that we have that many do not. Be it fabulous families, monetary, health and wellness, or gifts that we cannot yet perceive. I love this response because we can forget to strive for that everyday nor matter the good or bad. But also beyond that the desire to give back from that which tugs at our soul. This is where the beauty resides. When you find that love for others that goes beyond yourself. That cause your willing to give yourself to. These are actions that cause real change in the world. And she’s going to. Love it!
My response? Not doing everything I am called to do before I die. This is a heavy hitter in my soul. Something that I have turned over and over in my head. There is a deep desire to make a difference. Not only in my life, but in the lives of others. I worry that I may have missed the mark. That I am just now coming to the realization that I have things to do. I have differences to make in the world and to those closest to me. And I so wish I had this vision for my life years ago. The 20s..gone. 30s wasted. What was I thinking??
But thats the beauty of friendship. To lift you up when you feel uncertain. To point out the many ways you ARE making a difference. And to show you the great things about you that leave an impact. They encourage your drive and vision.
Sometimes you can’t see whats right in front of you. When all I see is mistakes and wasted time, to another they see your gifts forming. They see the potential rising. They see light and life even in the spaces you thought were dead and lost.
I shared how I struggle and try to filter myself while writing. So afraid of offending someone. Of being too much of this, or not enough of that. But also having the deep desire to fullfill my purpose and give all I have. And the response was very simple really. And of course, what I already knew. STOP. Stop filtering yourself. Write what you feel you should write. Because there is much too much filtering in this world already. Fresh and unfiltered is refreshing. Because the rest of the world won’t do it. That’s why you should.
And so I will. Or at least I will try my very best to write what I feel I should write. Say what I feel I need to say. Because it is my calling and I should embrace it instead of fight it. So with this New Year looming ahead of us, that is my goal. To be brave. To move ahead unflinching towards my calling.
So I ask you. What are you afraid of NOT doing before you die? Really think about that and strive to amend what your heart is asking you to do. Stretch yourself more than ever before. Be 100% authentic in all of your pursuits. Life is calling!