If you think back and really study your life and your past, you will see the connection to who you are now.
I have always had this obsession for furniture. Into my early teens I would rearrange my mother’s living room and shuffle my own room around until it looked just right. I would stare at pieces of furniture and imagine them into what they are not. I would drive my sisters and family crazy with the consent movement and change. I would never be at rest until I had it the way I wanted it. And even then, after I grew tired of it..I would be changing it yet again.
During one of the most boring jobs of my life I would doodle and sketch ideas for furniture. At that point in my life I hadn’t even touched, made, or renovated anything. Yet, its strange to me that I never payed any real attention to my yearnings then. Honestly, I thought I was a bit weird.
And that happens you know. You decide your strange if you know of no one else with your passions. When your family just shake their heads after yet another rearranging session..you feel..well a little off.
But it’s so untrue. I was just growing into what I was meant to be. I was learning how to use my talent. My talent is making things pretty. Kinda lame I know. Couldn’t I have just been some kind of wicked smart genius? Couldn’t I have been just like everyone else loving structure with a 9 to 5 job?
But the truth is I would be miserable. And have been for the better half of my life. Working jobs that held absolutely no meaning to me. The structure was suffocating. The clocking in and out felt like a prision. Creativity was tolerated only if approved. The dress code.. What do you mean no yoga or stretch pants?? I live for comfort! The regulations on sick days..as if you could ever control your sick days. Being told when you were allowed holidays. Not my cup of tea.
Some of you may believe this is just what’s called life. But it’s not. It’s what we are told to expect from life. But I want more. So much more. I want time with my babies. I want family and holidays. I want rest when I’m sick with no guilt or impending doom. I want to be in control of my future. I want to be working on my dreams not someone else’s.
And that is why I am ok with who I am. I need creativity to thrive. I work my ass off on my dreams. I’m ok with being tired and exhausted after a full day of furniture renovations. I’m happy with stained and dyed fingers and saw dust on my clothes. Because to me that represents freedom. It’s one step closer to where I know I need to be.
And one day, when I reach my destination, I will meet some poor lost girl just like me. And she will wonder why she is the way she is. And I will tell her my story. I will give her hope, inspiration and direction. I would tell her to embrace the things that she finds strange about herself. Because that’s where the magic resides.
Sometimes we think there are certain ways we need to be. But if you find yourself falling outside this category. Don’t fret. Don’t you waste one day trying to be what someone else wants or needs you to be. Because honey..you were born this way.
I was made for this. I can’t even tell you why. But it’s what makes my heart race. It brings me so much pride and joy. Bringing to life what I see in my head is really all I’ve ever wanted to do.
Put it this way. Creatives spend ALOT of time in their heads. It’s a constant ramble of ideas, thoughts and images. Now, if your not able to get that out and express it in a self satisfying way your going to be a nut case. My case in point for putting the stiff against 9 to 5 jobs.
And what would this world be without creatives? Bland. Very bland my friend. We wouldn’t be flying around the world or turning on any lights if it hadn’t been for the crazies who believed that it could be done.. It was all done because they believed it could. Not because anyone else believed they could. Case point number 2 as to why you should be your own cheerleader and why you should never depend on others to tell you that your good enough to do what you do.
If your not sure what you love to do. Dabble a little. Dabble alot. You’ll never know what sparks your interests until one day your covered in sawdust and stain and happy as a damn lark. Grinning ear to ear as you drive home that steal of a price on a piece you can’t wait to get started on. That’s how it all starts. That’s where you find happiness, when you finally put to good use all of the things you found so strange about yourself. They are not random they are your calling.