My Story, Lost then Found

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Writing for me is almost like therapy. It’s a chance to get out of my head. It’s an opportunity to share thoughts feelings and ideas. But most of all its an creativity outlet.

If there was any place that I’m most myself this is it. Writing is so incredibly personal. It’s letting out all that’s crowding in your head space. It’s bittersweet. It’s lovely.  It is the purest form of communication.

My first experience with writing was in high school. My English teacher had encourage me to enter young pros. I remember becoming very lost in it. But lost in the very best way. It was my first experience of becoming passionate about something. After school I would spend hours in the computer lab writing and rewriting my story until it was perfect. Until the teacher kicked me out. Until it was dark. And that year I won.

The next year, although I worked just as hard, my piece did not win the entry. I remember feeling quite crushed. Funny how something so small can plant a small seed in your head to stop what you love most. In those two years I had learned and adapted two things. Both contrary to each other. First I found what I loved, and two I had let my bullet wound scar me.

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It would take much too many years to recieve my gift back, and use it whether I was losing or winning. To understand its a gift. And I would have to be brave with it. And use it as best I can. To stand tall in my abilities and keep moving forward.

The thing about writing is, it’s a beautiful mess. It’s coming from inside. It’s unraveling yourself. And that’s what I realized I was missing the most. I had so much I wanted to say, but no way to let it out.

My first blog post was terrifying. I was about to open myself back up to the world. To criticism. To doubt.  But it was me that I feared all along. No one has ever been harder on me than I have been on myself.

So I wrote it. Posted it. And held my breath. And it turned out fine. The world didn’t end. I wasn’t the laughing stock. And even if I was, it didn’t matter. It felt so good to me to just be back in the game in my own small way.

For years I had wanted to blog. I thought it would be a great way for me to start again. But I had no idea what I would write about. So I pushed it aside.

Sometimes it’s the journey in life that brings you to where you need to be. My experiences in life brought fresh thoughts and ideas. I wanted to reach others. I wanted to use my pain, my lessons, to bring light into the world.

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And so, that is where the inspiration for my blog came from.  I use my blogs to inspire and encourage. Written words are such a powerful thing and can connect people on such interesting levels.

At some point in life, most of us will search to find out what it is we are good at. And then, I hope your next question will be, what good I am bringing to the table? What light am I bringing to the world? I’ve never thought that written words were just for myself. I try to use them to reach others in need of them.

What is the future of my blog? That I cannot answer,  I feel like these things take up a life all its own and forge their own directions. But for now I am just going to enjoy every bit of it. And really just seek to give what’s asked of me.

A part of my writing is a journey for me. But maybe it will be a journey for you too..who knows?

I do feel like one of the absolute best things you could do and be in life is an encourager. I love to see others find parts of themselves they may have lost in the battle of life.

So to you I say, don’t let small disappointments meddle with your head. Remember that you ARE needed. What you have IS special. And you should keep doing what you love, even if you don’t win the prize. Even if what you did isn’t crazy amazing. It’s amazing in its own right because your still here pursuing it! And because you still believe in it. You made IT exist.

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Posted from WordPress for Android

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