9 Lessons of love and how to avoid heartbreak

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Lesson number 1
Be with some who knows what they have while they still have you.

There is something to be said about being with someone who appreciates and loves you now and in every moment through and through. The man who realizes what he’s lost after your already gone is not worth holding on to for one second. Much less a lifetime. If he doesn’t make you a priority now trust me when I say the marriage won’t go much better.

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Lesson number 2
The better you are the better you attract.

Get in tune with yourself. Understand who you are and what you want out of life. I don’t care if you came from a perfect model home or a broken one. It is essential to become very clear on what you will tolerate and what you will not. It’s important to know how you deserve to be treated and to never back down from that for a moment. Mr. Right will find you when you have your head straight.

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Lesson number 3
Find some one who loves like you do.

And we’re not just talking about sharing the same love of pasta and pets here. Although that’s quite lovely.  But the meat and bone of the topic is that you’ve got to find someone with the same moral fiber and values. Meaning in the scope of life, how they currently live aligns with your own set of morals and beliefs. And if you are a good girl with a weakness for bad boys. Please, do not marry him. It’s a disaster in the making. The party will go on and you will be left behind wondering why he never wants to talk about your ovulation calendar.  Very lonely indeed.

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Lesson number 4
Timing is everything!

So you think you found the love of your life, and suddenly he’s shipped off to Afghanistan.  Or maybe you meet who you think is Mr. Right and you land a dream job in another state or country. There are so many variables that could happen in life. But while your on the couch sobbing..take heart because he wasn’t the one. Timing is essential. Never think for one moment that your missing out on someone because events in life kept pulling you both in different directions. Some day someone is going to sweep into your life at just at the right moment, and you will say, ” Oh there you are!” And you will finally understand why it never worked with anyone else.

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Lesson number 5
Don’t lose yourself.

Remember that when you are with someone you are still you. The high of love can make a person disappear into thin air leaving friends and family in the dust. They do still exist. So take some time to come up for air and nurture those relationships. And don’t get so wrapped up in someone that you stop doing all the things you love to do. Find someone who encourages you to pursue your passions independently of them. In fact find someone who insists upon it.

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Lesson number 6
Never let them burn you twice.

You know the old saying right? Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. True. True. True. Like a dog back to his own vomit. Don’t go there. Just don’t.  Tough times in life and love are meant to teach us lessons. And you’ll want it get this one down the first time. Unless you enjoy being hurt and feel like going for seconds. Believe people when they show you who they are the first time.

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Lesson number 7
Have courage to walk away.

Staying in any situation that is hurting you is toxic to your soul. It is the ultimate slow and painful beat down of your spirit.  You deserve love and respect period. End of story. Love does not hurt. Neither should you. Understand right now that you can love someone, but it does not mean you are good for each other. It doesn’t even mean your meant for each other. It just means that while you can’t choose who you love, you can choose how your going to feel in the future by exiting the situation. Please!  Please! Please do! Your future self will thank you.

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Lesson number 8
Drop the unrealistic expectations.

You know..that guy you thought you could change?? It doesn’t happen. It’s a you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit type of scenario. Don’t worry..if you didn’t get that last bit, you will when you have kids. People don’t change. Go into every relationship with open eyes. Understand who they are and what your getting. No one is perfect. You can deal with the small things. Like toilet seats left up and small every day annoyances. But the big things only get amplified as time goes on.

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Lesson number 9
Cheating is a deal breaker.

A person who truly loves you will think twice before he breaks your heart. He will value you and what you have together far more than any hotness that comes his way. And if he doesn’t?  Then clearly the only person he is into is himself. Don’t beat yourself up or think that you had anything to do with his bad behavior.  And don’t just blame the other women and tag her as some home wrecker tramp. He made his choice their was no gun to his head. Refer back to lesson number 3. His morals are out of wack and you deserve better.  Move on.

I wish I had someone to tell me all of this when I was in my 20s. But live and learn. Or follow these guidelines and avoid your next heartbreak.

May you be strong and sure and find exactly who your looking for!

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