This is a tough one, but so incredibly important.  It’s not something that comes easily. Nor is it something we were born knowing how to do. It’s learned. And it’s painful and tough. It’s not for sissies.  It’s not for the faint of heart. Bitterness and resentment come easy. Bitterness and resentment are seemingly the natural way to respond to pain and hurt. But there’s a much better way. A way that CAN change you’re entire life.

Why do I say that? Because pain and hurt in life can make or break you.  And  it’s almost a given, that at some point in life someone is going to hurt you. I’m not talking about the day to day small irritations. I’m talking about the big stuff. The heavy stuff. The kind of hurt that has you crippled on the floor crying wondering how you’ll ever get past it kind of hurt. 

My whole life I have heard sermons about forgiveness. I’ve been told to do it because the bible tells us to. But in my mind I really had no idea how to do it. You see..I could very easily say the words, ” I forgive you.” Yet in my heart and mind I still feel angry. Hear this. It’s NOT in saying the words. Its the acknowledgement that your forgiveness is the start of your healing. Forgiveness benefits us. Forgiveness is for us. And it doesn’t happen overnight.  It’s in constant communion with God. It’s being real and honest with God about how your feeling. Don’t sit there and tell him what you think you ought to think or say because he knows what your thinking anyway. Its ok to be angry. It’s ok to be hurt. But be real with God and he will be real with you. He will reach down and give you whatever it is you are seeking. Only he can mend whats broken in you.

You have to understand that we ourselves cannot do it. It’s in the belief that yes I’m hurt, yes I’m broken. But if I’m honest with God about whats going on inside of me he will help me through it. He can change your heart, he can open your eyes to see what you need to see. You CAN learn from it, grow from it, and become a better person for it. Or you can stay angry..the choice is yours. But remember it will only hurt you.

I will always remember and be thankful for the words my Dad spoke to me when my world felt like it was blown apart and the only thing I really wanted to do is go on the revenge.  Make that person hurt just as bad as they hurt me. But he said,” You’ve got to make sure that you do not become have to become better.” Beautiful isn’t it? That stopped me in my tracks. It was then my quest to somehow learn and grow from this.

You might think revenge is best. But let me tell you something.  If you step back and let God fight your battles while you commit yourself to doing whats right..he will teach them what you never could. He knows where they are in life and what they need to learn. That’s not our job its his.

I’ve learned that sometimes..well..most of the time people are not in the same place that you are in life and we have to accept them as the flawed human beings that we all are. And sometimes people hurt you..and it has nothing to do directly with you. People make bad decisions. People sometimes get lost and do things without thinking about how much it might hurt or affect someone else. Let grace reign in your life and the lives of others. When you resolve to do your best to let God make changes in your heart and life so that you can forgive you release that power not only in your own life but in the life of the person that hurt you. And thats how forgiveness is done. 🙂


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